Saturday, 1 April 2000

Police Tweets

My country's police force have the best tweets ever.

"Majorstua: complaints of a street musician who plays only one song. Has been going on for months, according to caller. Police on site to request a wider repertoire."

"A person was waving a machete at the Railway Square. Police on the spot arrested the man. Machetes are not supposed to be used this way."

"While we are busy with all these serious assignments we get a notice of three loose horses by Gaustad. If you find them, capture them and call us. Thank you."

"A police patrol finally got to Gaustad. Since they forgot their lasso they can't catch the horses. They are currently standing and looking at them."

"Quiet today. The musician at Majorstua has started again. A patrol who knows a thing or two about accordions were sent to check the quality."

"A drunk man called the police for help when he couldn't remember where he'd parked his car. The police did not help him."

"Man called the police when his drunk buddy was missing by Ikea. Police were dispatched and the man was found in callers car."

"Police and fire services dispatched after a report of smoke at the train station. Smells more like sweet rolls than fire. Undramatic." 

"If anyone happens to see a naked man in Storgata with a trash can on his head, please call 02800 [the police's number is for non-emergencies]."

Five minutes later:
"The man in Storgata have put down the trash can and put on some clothes. He's to be brought to the police station to sleep it off."

"Smoke in Sofienberggata: a well-known character struck again... a pot boiled dry. No one was hurt, but we're having a chat with the chef."

"Police took control over a person at Schous Plass. The rapport was that he had a knife hidden along his leg. It turned out to be a spoon."

"200 kg frozen king crab stolen from Oppsal this weekend. If anyone gets a crab-offer too good to be true: Call 02800."